Navigating Stress within the Family System: Insights from a Marriage and Family Therapist
Navigating Stress within the Family System: Insights from a Marriage and Family Therapist
Stress is a natural part of our lives, at times it can even be motivating. But when it affects your family, it can feel overwhelming and challenging to manage. "As a therapist, my aim is to assist you in handling these challenges with effective strategies. Here is insight on how to approach stress and strengthen family dynamics.
Understanding Types of Stress
Stress comes in many forms, from everyday life changes to significant traumatic events. For example, normal stressors might include major life transitions like getting married, managing the family calendar, becoming a parent, or approaching retirement. Although these transitions are common, they will certainly affect our family and individual dynamics. As we progress through life stage changes, so does the way we interact and adapt to the new stress. Sometimes it can take a period of time as we navigate how to have a healthy transition.
Catastrophic stressors such as a traumatic illness on the other hand, can immediately and profoundly affect your family's well-being. Take for example the family dynamics which occur when there is a child with a severe illness. Siblings may take on caretaker roles, altering their relationships with the ill child and parents, and experiencing emotional distress due to feelings of neglect or added responsibility. Parents face immense stress balancing medical care, work, and family life, impacting their well-being and relationship as they navigate this challenging time. Because the family works as a system, when change or stress occurs in one part of the system, it is the whole family that is impacted. This is why as a marriage and family therapist, I look at each client in the context of their whole system.
Recognizing the Impact of Stress
Stress can manifest in different areas of your life and family. You may notice changes in sleep habits, perhaps there is a constant physical manifestation, changes in eating patterns, or even memory. It is not uncommon for clients who are under intense stress to report to me that they feel ongoing headaches, a sense of bracing themselves, and stomach discomfort. Recognizing these changes is essential for identifying stress's impact on your family system and seeking the support you need.
Coping Strategies and Support
Your ability to cope with stress is influenced by several factors. First is your social support network. It’s important to have your “circle”, this can even be one person. Having someone who you can be unconditionally ourselves with is so crucial for managing stress levels and providing emotional support. Additionally is your sense of control; in therapy we can determine what we can and can't control, and how to approach both sides of this. It’s not uncommon when looking for a sense of control to notice that we might have trouble managing our own fears, feel anxious, feel frightened, or even behave irritably at times. In therapy, we can work together to help you identify you and your family’s resources and needs to better manage these challenges.
The Role of Family Relationships
Family relationships play a huge role in how we navigate stress. Think about the early messages you might have received. On holidays, was your parent the type of person to frantically start calling orders and wanting the house to feel just perfect? Or did they take a more back seat approach to the stress and wait for a directive to be given to them? Early experiences and emotional responses can shape how you approach life's challenges. Sometimes, these experiences can be helpful and help us determine if we want to respond to stress in the same way or family does, or if we need to try something different. Relationships may hinder your ability to cope, such as when a family member exacerbates stress through unhelpful behaviors.
On the other hand, supportive family relationships can provide a crucial buffer against stress. Working together in therapy can help to improve communication, set healthy boundaries, and foster mutual support can help you manage stressful situations more effectively.
Building Resilience in Your Family System
As a therapist, I strive to help you develop resilience within your family system. This involves identifying your family's strengths and providing strategies for managing stress. By acknowledging the impact of stress and working together to address challenges, your family can emerge stronger and more connected.
If you find yourself experiencing stress within your family, seeking professional help can provide valuable support and guidance. Together, we can work towards building a healthier, more resilient family system that can withstand life's challenges.- Joelle Santiago, DC, AMFT
Lee Williams, Todd M. Edwards, JoEllen Patterson, & Larry Chamow. (2011). Essential Assessment Skills for Couple and Family Therapists. The Guilford Press.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog post is intended for general informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a mental health condition.
If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or crisis, please contact your local emergency services immediately or go to the nearest emergency room.
